Our Connection
by PBPGIFWMY
Summary: MirokuSango connection. Please rr.


_Author's Note- First of all, I do not own anything of Inu Yasha, and therefore am not to be credited for any of this, it is just an idea and a dedication of sorts. This is dedicated to all who have lost the love of a time, the ones that always haunt your dreams with 'what if' and 'maybe.' This is the way I chose to release mine, and may it bring some happiness to others. To those who know, to those who don't- remember you are always someone's 'what if"_

Our Connection

Sango sat there in the pew, watching the bride and groom kiss; finalizing the marriage which had been in the plans for a long time now. She wasn't surprised. She knew she only had herself to blame for all of the pain that had been and will be in her heart. But, she also had to believe that everything happened for a reason, and they weren't meant to be together. Sure, they had found all of the shards, defeated Naraku, and now all of them, Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippo, Miroku, and herself had the life that they wanted, but there was still a small sting in the bottom of her heart. There was nothing that she could do about it. She placed a big smile on her face for the happy couple. They were perfect for eachother, he was after all, Miroku, and she was as placid and ditzy as ever, and there would be no arguments out of her, she would agree to everything that he said and did, and wouldn't think twice about his loyalty, but that wasn't any of her concern, she had her chance to have the man she always wanted, and she passed it up for the call of duty and honor. She was walking out into the sun, when Kagome caught up with her, dressed in a god-awful sea foam green bride's maid's robes. _Only a best friend would do that for a person._ Sango thought to herself, and there was nothing she could do about it. She knew Kagome didn't know the girl that well, but was the closest thing to a friend that she had, and as such, was also the maid of honor. She declined any invitation to go to the reception; she knew that her heart couldn't bear to see all the happiness in his eyes. She called Kirara forth, and climbed on top, waved farewells, and was off. Kirara knew her friend wasn't in the mood to talk, and so took her to the one place she knew would be of some comfort, the sea. Sango smiled as she could smell the salt in the air grow stronger by the second. Her friend always knew what was best for her. As she sat there, she recalled the last six months of events.

She had been sitting alone in the woods, contemplating what to do with her life, now that she had her brother to care for, and her whole life ahead of her. It humored her that she had never really thought of what she would do once Naraku was gone, but there was no time in building hopes. Sure, she let herself have some general ones, like raising a family and building up the village again, but nothing too big; else it will fall to the ground when she realizes it will not happen. She couldn't face that again, and she had to keep her focus on the task at hand, killing Naraku once and for all. Miroku snuck up behind her and surprised her, he could tell by the way she had spun around, destroy in her stance, but upon noticing who her attacker was, had relaxed, and finally sat back down. Miroku also sat down, and was ready to talk to her when he heard her whisper-

"I don't know what to do with myself. I have never let myself think this far, and now, I have all of this freedom. I have to care for Kohaku of course, but he is almost grown, and there is really nothing I can do for him; so that leaves me. What am I to do?"

"Sango, you could join me; we could go back to the village, rebuild it, and raise a family, have a normal life, with normal problems, and no longer worry about the safety of others. I know you want to save the world, but not anymore. Come with me, come with me and let me love you the way I always have." That was it, that was the proposal that froze in her mind and in her heart, instead of accepting, she had asked for a couple of days, and being the kind person he is, he let her have her time, but over the span of two months of travel, he began to grow impatient. He was young and still in his prime, he no longer was grabbing for her body and left her alone to do what was needed, think. And then one night in a village, the same village she had just left, he had come with a final declaration.

"Sango, I know you have been considering my proposal, and I am aware that it is a big step for you, but I have been patient with you, and I have been willing to wait for you for all of the time that you need, but I need to know an answer. I am not going to wait around for you to decide when it is safe to love me when I could be receiving the love of someone else. I need to know that you love me in return."

Hearing those horrible words in her ears again made her eyes sting with unshed tears, she didn't cry then, and she wouldn't cry now, but her emotions rarely listened to her voice of reason anymore, and they flowed freely, releasing all of the pain in her heart. She closed her eyes bitterly, tasting the salt in the tears that ran down her nose, which was running as well, but she didn't care. Instead of providing shelter from the pain, her mind betrayed her, and brought forth the look of his eyes when he had last spoke to her that fateful night, and the sadness that replaced the hope when she had declined.

Of course, the wording had pissed her off at first, and she had to learn to control that before she had said anything to him, but she had told him that if he couldn't give her enough time now, then how was he going to handle her being a demon-hunter? Would he be willing to move with her, and risk his children's lives to save the rest of humanity? She just wasn't ready at the time, but, she could see now, she was ready all along, just too chicken to release herself to the love she knew was safe. Her life wasn't a safe one, and how was she to know whether or not he would be safe with her? Would he be able to handle himself in battle? It was better for him this way, he wouldn't be able to get in harm's way and there would be no chance of his worrying about her. She had convinced herself of that long ago, but right now, they sounded empty as a water jug with a hole in the bottom. Those were her holes then, and they had let the water of her love seep out onto the ground, only to refresh someone else.

Miroku just nodded in agreement and understanding at her response. After all, what else did she expect him to do, grab her and kiss her till she accepted? No, that wasn't his style, and she knew it. She had subconsciously tested him too far, and she had lost.

"Very well then, I will leave tonight, and I bid you a good life and a long journey." He was gone. Just like that; without looking back, and she was too damned prideful to ask him to return to her, so she let him go.

As if out of a dream, there he was again, at her side, dressed in his tuxedo. "Sango, I need to speak with you." The distance in the sea did not equal the distance she seen in his eyes. "I didn't really expect to see you at my wedding, but I guess I have Kagome to thank for your company. Thank you for being there; it meant a great deal to me. I wish you to attend the reception, but when I had seen you had not, it didn't take me long to figure out where you had taken off to. Everything is okay. I am happy where I am, and you will find contentment eventually. Thank you Sango."

"Miroku, I wanted to tell you that I love you, and in some strange way, I always will. I know you will be happy with your wife, and I am glad for you. As long as you are happy that is all that matters to me right now. I am just sorry I couldn't tell you before. I do not wish to ruin your new life, nor do I wish to be in it constantly, but every now and then, promise me you'll think of me. You'll stop to think of me, not in remorse, but of curiosity and contentment."

Miroku just smiled briefly at her, and nodded.

"Yes, Sango, I will think of you, every once in a while; after all, you and I have a connection; we have a connection of what if. We will stop and wonder what if we would have stayed together, and what we would be like at different times in our lives, but our paths are not our own, and as such, we are not entirely in control of them, so there has to be a reason for why things work out the way that they do. Goodbye for now, Sango."

"Goodbye, Miroku." Sango said, finding contentment and relief from the pain that had been a constant companion. Sure the pain will be there every once in a while, when there is a clear night, and she will think of his eyes, but this path is not her own, and there is a reason for everything, so she will embrace her life the way that it is, and continue on. After all, maybe there is another Miroku somewhere, and she just has to find him, but for right now, she will be content with the time that she had with him. A strange thought came across her mind; she liked the way their relationship was anyway, because in this relationship, everything goes the way that she wants it to, and if there are fights, then there is immediate forgiveness, and she could change the situation to how she felt for the time. If she wanted to be alone, then she could be, and there weren't any complications. She smiled to herself, maybe she would stay single for a while, but if she wanted company, he would be there, in the bottom of her heart, always willing to provide her with whatever her heart needed, and leave when she needed him to too. This was how she liked it, and this was how it would stay. Yes, her life wasn't her own, and yes, there were reasons for everything, and finally, she had found contentment again in her life.


End file.
